


Her name is Tyler

by ttsg



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Coming Out, Exhibitionism, Other, Semi-Public Sex, Trans Character, Trans Tyler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:42:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8684335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ttsg/pseuds/ttsg
Summary: Josh didn’t typically pick up other guys in a bar and take them home but then again he also didn’t see many guys wearing a soft pink skirt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I fucking hate this story now
> 
> Enjoy~

Josh didn’t typically pick up other guys in a bar and take them home but then again he also didn’t see many guys wearing a soft pink skirt. 

 

Josh had been at the bar before the pink skirt sat down beside him. Josh already had a beer in hand when he heard the guy next to him ask for a martini. The guy sat with his legs crossed, pulling at the skirt to keep it from riding up. Josh couldn’t help but think he was cute, softer than he should be. Josh wanted to touch, wanted to kiss everything he could. He was a stranger.

 

“This is weird, I know, but what’s your name?” Josh asked finally, turning to the guy. His laugh was just as soft as everything else.

 

“Tyler,” he said, looking over to Josh and raising his eyebrows.

 

They talked for a long time, both of them sipping on their drinks until minds were a little fuzzier than they should have been. 

 

Josh didn’t typically pick up other guys in a bar but this one was nice, he was polite. He laughed at Josh’s jokes and he touched Josh’s knee. He touched Josh’s shoulder and Josh thought about bending the guy over the back of his couch. Josh even thought about getting on his knees for this guy, doing whatever he could to make this guy pleased. Mostly, Josh thought about Tyler moaning. 

 

“This is weird, I know, but would you come home with me?” Josh asked and he was surprised when Tyler nodded. 

 

They crashed into bed together and peeled away clothes. Josh was left in his boxers, staring at Tyler who still wore his skirt. Tyler had his knees bent, the skirt falling between his legs and keeping him covered still.

 

“Can I?” Josh asked, watching Tyler nod. He ran his hands over Tyler’s shins, his knees, his thighs, feeling the soft skin underneath his palm. Tyler had shaved his legs and Josh loved it. He loved how soft it was, loved it even more when Tyler let his legs fall apart for Josh to sit between. Josh had his fingers hooked under the waistband of the skirt when Tyler’s hand stopped him. 

 

“Don’t laugh,” he said quietly and Josh shook his head.

 

“Never,” Josh said, leaning down to kiss Tyler as he worked the skirt off slowly. His fingers found soft lace. He was wearing black panties with lace that hardly left anything to the imagination. He pulled away to find Tyler already hard underneath the lace panties. Josh didn’t think it was weird at all. 

 

“We all have our kinks,” he said, not missing the face that Tyler made. 

 

“Just kiss me,” he said and Josh did. 

 

Tyler rolled onto his stomach, arching his back and wiggling his hips. 

 

“Touch me,” he said and Josh did. He moved Tyler’s underwear down and off, kissing the small of Tyler’s back. Josh touched him, explored. He opened Tyler slowly, not missing the way Tyler moaned and pushed back, silently or not-so silently begging for more. 

 

He begged until they were both leaking, neither of them reaching to touch themselves. Tyler kept his hands fisted in Josh’s pillows, knuckles white as he whined and pushed back on Josh’s fingers. 

 

“Please fuck me,” Tyler said, face pressing into the sheets to hide the way a blush crept over his cheeks. Josh nodded, reaching for his nightstand and the condoms he left there. He pulled one on as he leaned over Tyler, kissing at the back of his neck, his shoulder blades. He pushed in slowly, rubbing at Tyler’s hip. Josh could only get the tip in with the way Tyler tensed.

 

“Relax,” he said, trying to make the circles on Tyler’s skin soothing. The tears on Tyler’s cheeks did not go unnoticed.

 

It took all of Josh’s willpower not to just push in all the way and start fucking Tyler the way he desperately wanted to, needed to if the way his body screamed at him was any hint. He didn’t, though. He was gentle as he leaned over and kissed at what little of Tyler’s cheek he could see. He smoothed his hands over Tyler’s back and worked out knots that he found in Tyler’s shoulder. He didn’t mind, knew that it could be scary. He assumed this was Tyler’s first time bottoming. 

 

So he was gentle, waiting until he saw a barely there nod before he pushed in again, taking it slowly. He watched Tyler’s face, noticed the discomfort. He paused again, halfway in and waited until Tyler’s hips tried pushing back. 

 

Josh pushed in until they were hip to hip, until he was panting with the effort of holding himself back. Tyler’s tears were all but gone then, mouth open as he tried to catch his breath. He had drool in the corner of his mouth and Josh knew it was on his sheets, pooling and soggy.

 

Josh rested his hands by Tyler’s shoulders, grabbing at the sheets, too. He held himself up, panted over Tyler, kept his rocking to a minimum as he waited for Tyler to adjust again. 

 

“I’m okay,” Tyler said finally, voice breathless. Josh stayed slow for a long time, dragging everything out. He waited for the discomfort to be completely gone before he moved faster, waited for Tyler to let out a little moan, a little beg asking for more. Josh was gentle even as he moved faster, bringing himself closer to the edge, mindful even then about Tyler. 

 

He was close as he reached around Tyler, getting a hand on Tyler’s cock before Tyler froze, shaking his head. His hands went to Josh’s wrist, pushing him away. 

 

“Don’t you want to come?” Josh asked, letting go once he realized that Tyler wasn’t asking for more. 

 

“Of course I want to come,” he said, voice sounding like there was an eyeroll that Josh missed. 

 

“But I can’t touch you?” Josh said, clarifying before he did something stupid.

 

“Please don’t.”

 

So Josh didn’t. He fucked into Tyler until he was barely holding onto his orgasm. He noticed that even Tyler hadn’t touched himself yet. His hands only left the pillow to shove Josh away, quickly returning. He didn’t grind down into Josh’s sheets, didn’t make them messy from precome. Josh didn’t know what he should think.

 

“What? You can come untouched?” He asked, a little surprised because for all of his trying, he’d never even gotten himself to do that. Tyler tensed below him for a second.

 

“Of course I can come untouched,” he said, obviously annoyed by his tone.  Josh let the topic drop. 

 

He fucked Tyler until Josh came, spilling into the condom. He slowed down, wanting to get every last bit of his orgasm from his body before he pulled out. He left the bed to go drop the used condom in the bathroom trashcan. 

 

He went back to his bedroom, Tyler already curled under his sheets, making himself at home. 

 

“Did you even come?” Josh asked, noticing how flushed Tyler’s cheeks were, how the blankets tented around his lap. Josh knew the answer before he asked.

 

“Of course I did, can I stay?” Tyler asked.

 

“Yeah, you can stay,” Josh said, confused but not minding in the least. He climbed onto the other side of the bed, keeping his distance from Tyler, even though Tyler was sleeping in his usual spot with his pillow. Josh didn’t typically pick up guys from bars and he didn’t know what was normal. It seemed Tyler didn’t typically get picked up by guys from bars, either.

 

“Can you cuddle me?” He asked and Josh nodded, not caring if the action was seen or not. He scooted closer, slotting himself behind Tyler. He found that Tyler had pulled his panties back on, the black lace feeling a little rough under Josh’s palm. He was a fan of bare skin but wouldn’t complain if this is what made Tyler comfortable. He slung his arm around Tyler easily, hand resting on the bed in front of Tyler. He didn’t want to touch too much. 

 

“Cuddle my curves,” Tyler whispered. Josh made a confused noise and felt Tyler grab his hand, placing it on his hip. Josh kept his hand there, not moving. He was unsure what Tyler had meant.

 

“I said, cuddle my curves,” Tyler mumbled, being sassier than Josh thought a one night stand should be. Tyler let out a sigh and then demonstrated along Josh’s arm. He barely brushed his fingertips over Josh’s skin, occasionally scratching with nails. He pet at Josh’s skin more than anything before he let his hand fall back to the bed. Josh nodded his head and copied the movements. He didn’t comment on the fact that Tyler didn’t have curves, that his body was flat on all sides, save for the curve of his back when he was begging for Josh to fuck him.

 

They laid like that until they both fell asleep, Josh’s arm curled around Tyler through most of the night.

 

Josh woke up with a pillow against his chest, burying his nose in it like it should have been a person. Tyler had snuck out sometime, replacing himself with a pillow for Josh’s sake. There was a sense of sadness that it left Josh with and he realized this was why he didn’t pick guys up from bars. Josh liked to cuddle, liked to wake up with a warm body that he could hold and kiss. He liked waking up to morning sex, if he was being honest. He liked it slow, both of them tasting bad but neither caring. 

 

What he was left with was a pillow and a ripped off piece of paper. It had a phone number on it.

 

_ had work, sorry _

_ -tyler _

 

Sure, Josh didn’t get his morning sex, but he at least got the chance to take Tyler out on a date sometime. 

 

*

 

It didn’t end up being a second date. That was what he’d intended for when he messaged Tyler. He had even picked out a restaurant to take Tyler to. 

 

_ Hey _

 

_ hi _

 

_ Wanna fuck you again _

 

_ ok _

 

He hadn’t meant to say that exactly but it worked out well for him in the end. 

 

Tyler was knocking on his door that night, dressed in a floral skirt and a black button down that was more see through than not. Josh hadn’t noticed the tattoos the first night, staring at them and wishing he could understand what they were meant to mean. 

 

“Do you not like the way I dress?” Tyler said, voice sounding more defensive than it should have been. He crossed his arms over his chest and it snapped Josh out of his staring. He looked back up to Tyler’s face and frowned, confusion in his expression.

 

“What? Why would you think that?” Josh asked. He didn’t know many guys who wore skirts but he didn’t think it was bad. It was the opposite, actually. He thought Tyler was brave for dressing in any way he pleased, Josh was sure that there were some people out there who had to have criticized him before.

 

Tyler faltered for a moment.

 

“You were staring,” he said softly, seeming to second guess why he’d even gotten defensive. 

 

“It was the tattoos, honestly. Your shirt is a little see through and I hadn’t seen them before,” he explained. Tyler looked down at himself and realized the same thing. 

 

“Oh.” 

 

They stood awkwardly before Josh invited him in, offering Tyler a drink if he wanted. They stood on opposite sides of the counter, staring at walls and floors, not sure what should be said. 

 

“I kinda just came to get you to fuck me again,” Tyler said finally and Josh nodded. He had been the one to offer. 

 

It was easier when he had his lips on Tyler's. He didn't doubt himself quite as much. He liked the feeling of Tyler's shirt under his fingers but liked the skin on his chest more. He liked that he didn’t think so much as he pulled Tyler into his room and pushed him onto his bed.

 

His underwear wasn’t as fancy tonight. It was a soft pink that Josh couldn’t see through but it looked nice against his skin. Josh leaned down and kissed below Tyler’s belly button, kissed the fabric of his underwear where he could see Tyler already starting to get hard. Tyler sucked in a breath, squirming under Josh.

 

“Is this okay?” Josh asked, looking up at Tyler. 

 

Tyler thought for a moment before nodding his head. 

 

“Do it again,” he said and Josh did. He pressed kisses to the fabric, trailing down along the line of where his cock was. 

 

“Don’t go lower, just the tip,” Tyler said finally. Josh felt stupid for not noticing how tense Tyler was beneath him. He nodded his head anyway, moving back up to where a small wet spot was, he kissed at it, pressed gentle palms into Tyler’s thighs and felt him relax slowly. 

 

Josh pulled at the underwear, moving it down and off Tyler’s body. He pulled back to undress himself, watching Tyler the whole time.

 

Tyler had moved his hands, covering himself as he waited for Josh but when Josh kneeled between his legs again, Tyler didn’t move his hands. 

 

“Touch me,” he said, trying to move onto his stomach. He kicked Josh’s shoulder in the process, cheek smushed into Josh’s sheets. He managed, though. The arch in his back was there again, pushing his ass out and towards Josh. He ran his hand over the dip in Tyler’s back, loving how smooth the skin felt under his hands. 

 

“Your curves are so nice,” he said, frowning at how odd the words felt in his mouth. Tyler’s cheeks got red and he made a soft sound that reminded Josh of a sob. 

 

“You think so?” Tyler asked, body leaning to one side so he could look at Josh, see how sincere it was. Tyler’s eyes made it seem like he expected some big joke. Josh just nodded his head, lightly smacking Tyler’s hip. 

 

“Come on, want to see your curves again,” and Tyler did, both knees planted firmly on the bed and chest as low as it could get. Josh was sure that it was painful but Tyler didn’t seem to mind. 

 

“Touch me,” Tyler said, repeating it until Josh was running a hand over his skin again, over his hole. He used spit, too anxious and too hard to go get lube. He used spit as he pushed his finger in slowly, listening to the sounds Tyler made. He whined, rocking slowly and Josh didn’t mind letting Tyler fuck himself on his fingers.

 

He opened Tyler slowly, wishing he could go on forever, just slowly touching him, watching the way he fell apart underneath Josh. He would have described it as beautiful, would have told Tyler but they weren’t anything. They were a one night stand: part two. 

 

So Josh kept quiet, pulling his fingers out when Tyler was a whining mess, drool on his sheets.

 

“Can I be on my back this time?” Tyler asked, breathless when he tried to speak. Josh nodded, helping Tyler back over. They were face to face and it felt more intimate than it should have been. Josh was tempted to lean down and kiss Tyler slowly, hold him there until they came like that, entangled and intertwined. He didn’t, though, because they weren’t intimate with each other. 

 

Josh pressed up against Tyler, pushing in slowly. He got as far as the tip inside of Tyler before Tyler’s lips quivered. It was enough to make Josh freeze, waiting for the moan to happen. It didn’t happen. 

 

Tyler cried instead, tears leaking out of his eyes and a frown on his lips. He brought his hands up to his face, hiding behind his palms. Josh was confused why it had even happened. He wanted to blame himself, tell himself that it was too soon, he was too hasty with prep but he knew that that was wrong. Tyler was loose when he pushed in, he was prepped well, Josh couldn’t blame himself. 

 

“Hey, you gotta relax or it’ll hurt,” he said softly, hand on Tyler’s chest, rubbing slow circles into his skin. He traced over the tattoos, listening as Tyler sobbed. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, hands still covering his face. 

 

“No, it’s okay. We don’t have to do this. We can cuddle or something,” Josh offered, about to pull out when a hand grabbed his wrist. 

 

“Keep going, please,” Tyler said, his hand going back to his face. Josh did as he was asked. 

 

He fucked Tyler slowly, watching as the frown on his lips disappeared and was replaced with a slack mouth that let little whimpers leave. The tears stopped seeping from under his hand and the sobs stopped but his hands remained. Josh listened to the whimpers as they slowly mixed with pleas, begging for more. 

 

“Please, Josh,” he said, arching into Josh as he leaned down to kiss at Tyler’s chest.

 

Josh came like that, rocking into Tyler slowly, holding him close. He pressed kisses everywhere he could reach, kissing the backs of Tyler’s hands. It was too intimate of a gesture but post-orgasm, Josh stopped caring. 

 

He reached down between them, trailing his hand over Tyler’s chest and stomach, wrapping his fingers around Tyler’s cock. He felt Tyler tense, squeezing around Josh where he’d been stalling on pulling out. He groaned, letting go of Tyler like it burned him. 

 

“Okay, Jesus,” Josh said, moving until he could lay down next to Tyler. 

 

“I don’t want you to touch me,” Tyler said, sitting up to grab for Josh’s sheets. He covered himself, the way he was still mostly hard though it seemed that it had gone away some when Josh touch him.

 

“You didn’t come. You didn’t even come last night,” he said, remembering that he’d felt bad for not helping Tyler get off. 

 

“I can come untouched,” Tyler said, the frown returning along with the quiver in his lips. Josh didn’t want him to start crying.

 

“No, hey, it’s fine. Orgasms aren’t everything,” Josh said, trying to reason with Tyler. Instead, Tyler just turned to lay on his side, back to Josh. He raised his arm up, letting out a quiet sigh.

 

“Cuddle my curves,” and there it was again. 

 

Tyler waited until Josh moved in behind him, hand resting on Tyler’s hip. He still didn’t comment on how Tyler didn’t even have a figure. He brushed his fingertips over Tyler’s skin and listened to the contented sigh that Tyler let out. It was enough for Josh.

 

They fell asleep together with Josh pressed up close to Tyler. 

 

It was the same thing in the morning. Josh had a pillow curled close to his chest and the loss of not having body heat next to him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, confused why Tyler couldn’t stay just a few minutes. He would have made breakfast, would have drove him home if he’d walked or taken the bus. Josh just wanted to wake up next to him.

 

There was another note on his bedside table.

 

_ i left the stove on i think _

_ -tyler _

 

The excuse hurt Josh. He thought that if Tyler didn’t want to be with Josh that badly then he just should have said no to coming over. He thought it was obvious that Tyler didn’t enjoy having sex with Josh. Sure, he’d moaned and begged quietly but he didn’t ever finish. Josh at least thought it was obvious.

 

*

 

He had decided not to text Tyler. Josh would have deleted his phone number too but something stopped him. In the end, he was a little glad he hadn’t. Tyler texted him first.

 

_ can i come over again? _

 

_ For what? _

 

_ for sex _

 

_ Yeah, I guess so.  _

 

Josh sat there for a long time, staring at his phone screen. He wished he’d said no, told Tyler that he didn’t enjoy being used. He wanted to say that he was looking for something a little more serious than friends with benefits if that’s what they could even be called. 

  
But he’d said yes because there was no denying the fact that he enjoyed it, that he liked it when he had Tyler whimpering underneath him. He said yes because how often could he find an attractive guy who wore a skirt and killed in it. The answer was not often. He liked the skirt a little more than he intended on liking it. 

 

He thought that this time he might ask Tyler if he could fuck him in it. 

 

Instead, Tyler showed up in a maxi skirt. It had a light pink shirt tucked into it. The skirt rode high on his hips, barely touching the floor as he walked. He looked unbelievably pretty and Josh would hate to ruin his clothes. 

 

“Hey,” Josh said, still feeling awkward because he didn’t do this with anyone. He felt like he was in no man's land with Tyler. He didn’t quite belong even in his own home. 

 

“Put your hands on my hips,” Tyler said and Josh figured that blunt and to the point was best for both of them. He stepped forward and pulled Tyler in, grabbing his hips gently. The material was soft under his hands. Josh grabbed at his skirt, bunching the fabric slightly so it didn’t touch the ground.

 

“Anything else?” Josh asked. Tyler nodded his head, stepping in close until they were chest to chest. 

 

“I like it when you touch my hips, you’re gentle,” he said softly and it started something in Josh’s chest. 

 

He didn’t want to think about how he was getting attached as he leaned down and pressed his lips to Tyler’s. Tyler kissed back immediately, clinging to Josh. They stood like that for a long time before Tyler finally pulled away. It was impossible to read the look on his face.

 

“I really like your skirts,” Josh said, having meant to say it before. Tyler tensed and barely shook his head. 

 

“Please don’t,” he said softly and it confused Josh more than anything, “Just fuck me, okay?” 

 

Josh wanted to say no because Tyler cried every time they had sex, wanted to say no because he wanted to get to know Tyler, wanted something more than just another one night stand repeat. Josh didn’t say anything, just took Tyler’s hand and pulled him to bed. 

 

He smoothed his palms down Tyler’s thighs, feeling the skirt under his palms. Tyler’s breathing was shaky, hands fisted in the sheets. Josh wanted those hands in his hair, wanted Tyler to encourage him, to talk to him. He pulled the skirt off, wanting to comment again on how nice of a skirt it was, how honestly beautiful Tyler looked in it. He didn’t say anything as he threw it to a pile on the floor, soon followed by the rest of their clothes. 

 

They kissed slowly as Josh worked Tyler open. He went slower this time, thought that maybe they were something more than a quick fuck. Josh sure felt that way. He wasn’t sure where he’d started to develop feelings but he had. Somewhere between a one night stand and shitty excuses come morning. He thought that maybe it could be something more, Tyler had come back after all. He’d come back even though Josh had yet to make him come. He wondered if it was because Josh cuddled with him after. Josh had never been opposed to another's touch, even if he expected them gone in the morning and not to return ever. 

 

“Let me guess, don’t touch your dick?” Josh asked, the words meant as clarification. He didn’t think his tone sounded harsh but Tyler flinched anyway. He looked like he was on the edge of tears before he nodded. 

 

“Please don’t,” he said softly, pushing at Josh’s chest, “Want to be on my hands and knees this time.” 

 

Josh could see the tears starting already and figured that Tyler didn’t want to be seen crying. Josh wanted to tell him to stop, ask if Josh hurt him, if that’s why he always cried. He still didn’t say anything. He draped himself over Tyler’s back as he pushed in. Josh didn’t care if it turned out one sided, he wanted Tyler close, wanted to protect him and hold him. He wrapped an arm around his chest and pressed his lips to Tyler’s cheeks, the tear tracks that were there. 

 

Tyler was shaking under him, trying to stifle his sobs in the sheets and the pillow but Josh heard them anyway. 

 

“Does it feel good?” Josh asked, anxiety creeping up his spine that he had done something wrong. His pride was wounded but stroked all at the same time. 

 

“Yeah, oh God, yeah,” Tyler whispered, the tears still leaking out but he had said he liked it, right? Josh didn’t know what to think so he kept quiet, pressed kisses into Tyler’s skin and listened to him whine quietly. 

 

Josh was close when he spoke up again. 

 

“I want you to come, Tyler,” he said and he watched as Tyler’s hand tightened in the sheets, knuckles impossibly white. 

 

“Yeah,” Tyler agreed but it still didn’t happen. Josh finished inside of him, dragging it out until it started to get painful, dragging it out a few thrusts longer for Tyler’s sake. He knew better than to try touching Tyler and Tyler refused to touch himself as well. 

 

It happened like every other night. Tyler rolled to his side and covered himself in blankets. He ignored how hard he was between his legs and before he even opened his mouth, Josh had a hand curling around his hip. 

 

“Cuddle your curves, right?” He asked, fingers dancing along Tyler’s side. There was a soft sigh that reminded Josh of something happy but there were still tears in Tyler’s eyes. He wanted to ask still but kept quiet, laying down and closing his eyes.

 

“Right,” Tyler whispered, relaxing into Josh’s chest. 

 

It was four in the morning when Josh felt it. His arm being gently moved and this time it woke him up. For a few minutes he tried getting back to sleep before he felt the covers moving and the bed dipping. The warm body that had kept him upright was gone and it faintly registered that this was Tyler leaving yet again. He blinked his eyes closed, finding Tyler’s back to him as he pulled his underwear back on. Josh sat up quickly, not meaning to startle Tyler but he had anyway.

 

“Shit, you’re not supposed to wake up,” Tyler whispered hurriedly, turning around to face Josh. He covered himself like he was embarrassed to be half naked in front of Josh. 

 

“But I am,” he whispered back, fully awake now. Tyler looked nervous where he stood, hesitant to continue getting dressed and hesitant to crawl back into bed. He went with the former, tripping over himself to get dressed as quickly as possible while Josh tripped in the sheets, trying to get himself out of bed. 

 

Tyler won as Josh caught himself from face planting on the floor. 

 

“Tyler,” he yelled, pulling himself off the floor and barely catching Tyler’s wrist before he was out of the bedroom door. Tyler made a quiet noise, trying to tug free.

 

“Josh, let me go,” he said, not daring to look back. 

 

“No, I have to ask you something,” he said and the fight drained out of Tyler. 

 

“Fine,” he said quietly and Josh let his wrist go. Tyler fixed his clothes now that he had the time, tucking his shirt into his skirt before he walked back to Josh’s bed and sat down. Josh sat next to him, not wanting to come off threatening. He just wanted to know what they were, why Tyler refused to wake up next to him. 

 

“Why do you keep leaving?” He asked and only got a shrug in response. 

 

“I don’t know,” Tyler said, folding his arms over his chest. 

 

“Why do you give me shit excuses?”

  
“I don’t know.”

 

“Why won’t you let me touch you?” He asked and was pleased that Tyler didn’t just say ‘I don’t know’ again. He cried instead and it made Josh feel worse. 

 

He acted fast, pulling Tyler into a hug before he had the chance to bolt from the room. Tyler melted into his arms, shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. Josh didn’t know it would affect him that badly. He sat there until Tyler calmed down a little more before he spoke up.

 

“Come on, I’m not gonna hurt you,” he said, thinking that that would be the only thing Tyler might be scared of. Tyler sniffled and pulled back, trying to sit up straight. The fight drained from him and he didn’t look like he was going to run from Josh. He kept his eyes on the floor and didn’t once glance at the door.

 

“I know you won’t,” he answered, bunching the skirt up in his hands. Josh had no idea what the problem was anymore.

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, Tyler. Everytime we have sex you cry like I’m hurting you but I swear I didn’t mean to,” he said, laying that out on the table before the conversation continued. Tyler shrugged and nodded his head.

 

“It doesn’t hurt, actually. You make me feel good, it feels good,” he said and the more they talked the more confused Josh got. 

 

They sat there for a long time, staring at nothing. Tyler ran his palms over his thighs, his breathing still shaky. Josh was just waiting for him to burst into tears. 

 

“Why do you keep crying then?” He asked finally and Tyler let out a shaky sigh.

  
“I had this ex, okay? He wasn’t very nice and he was rough when I didn’t want to be. I didn’t have sex with anyone else since him except for you and it still reminds me of him. I didn’t mean to make you worried, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he explained and Josh felt slightly better. He understood what it was like and wanted to help Tyler as best he could. 

 

“That’s okay,” he said softly, pulling Tyler into a one-armed hug. 

 

“I just have to remind myself that it’s not him and it just takes me a few minutes,” he explained. Josh wanted to be better than that guy, wanted to tell Tyler that, too. He just didn’t want to make things weird. 

 

“Is the not touching you because of him, too?” Josh asked, noticing how Tyler tensed, tried to pull away from Josh like his touch burned. The shaking was more visible now and Josh hated himself for making Tyler like this. 

 

“Sort of,” he said quietly, tears back in his eyes. “Can we talk about this later? I don’t want to say, please don’t make me say.” Josh nodded quickly, wanting Tyler to stop crying, to stop shaking.

 

“As long as you stay until morning,” Josh tried and Tyler seemed hesitant to agree. He did in the end, let Josh pull him down into bed again and lay against the pillows. Tyler’s clothes stayed on and Josh pulled a pair of boxers on, too. 

 

They were covered in blankets with legs tangled together. The skirt was long and made it difficult but Josh didn’t complain. He ran his fingertips along Tyler’s side over the shirt, noticing how a hint of a smile tugged at Tyler’s lips. 

 

“Can you kiss me?” Tyler asked. Josh must have made a face because Tyler was quick to explain. “It’s just that he hardly ever did this with me and when we did, he wouldn’t touch me or kiss me. I want you to kiss me.” 

 

Josh nodded before he leaned in. He kissed Tyler softly, barely pressing their lips together. He let Tyler control it, taking as much or as little as he pleased. Tyler pulled back and Josh let him, opening their eyes and staring. 

 

Josh fell asleep with Tyler's face in his neck. He had his arms tight around Tyler and sure enough when the sun woke him up, he still had Tyler in his arms. Josh felt like he was choking when he realized that. His chest was tight and his throat burned and tears threatened to sting his eyes for all the right reasons. Josh wanted to stay there for as long as possible. Tyler stirred in his arms and Tyler demanded food. 

 

“You made me stay,” he said but sounded far from angry. Josh groaned as he slid out of bed slowly and groaned louder as he walked barefoot down the hallway to the kitchen. Tyler followed after him and sat on the counter, swinging his legs. They both got caught up in staring at the skirt swish while bacon sizzled on the stove. 

 

“You didn't answer me last night,” Josh pointed out. Tyler’s legs stopped moving and his eyes were on the ground. Josh wasn't sure what his body gave off. Defeated, terrified, maybe a little of both. The posture saddened Josh. He didn't want Tyler to feel any of those things. 

 

“I guess I'm not gonna ever come back so it doesn't matter what I say now, right?” Tyler asked, voice sounding thick with tears that Josh was sure would start any second. 

 

Josh wanted to ask if Tyler would come back sometime, wanted to say that he liked Tyler. He shrugged instead, not wanting Tyler to change his mind and take back whatever it was he was about to say. 

 

“Please don't laugh,” Tyler started along with the tears, “My ex, he just,” Tyler stopped what he was saying, covering his face with his hands. 

 

Josh realized this was where the ‘sort of’ came into play. He kept quiet, let Tyler form his thoughts, cry out whatever needed to be cried out. 

 

“I'm-” he started, stopping as he looked up at Josh, cheeks bright red. 

 

“Stop staring at me or I won't be able to do this. Cover your eyes and turn around,” Tyler said and Josh made an annoyed sound but did as asked. 

 

Tyler didn't say anything for a long time and josh wanted to turn around, check to see if he was still there. Josh would have thought that Tyler snuck out if it weren't for the sound of soft breathing. It was faster than normal, obvious that Tyler was trying to calm down. 

 

“I'm transgender,” Tyler said and josh dropped his hands, turning around to look at Tyler. 

 

“What-”

 

“Josh! I didn't say you could look at me.”

 

“What?” He asked, trying to figure out what exactly Tyler meant. He hadn't been with anyone before that had come out as transgender and he was at a loss for what to do. 

 

“So it's like, not a real dick?” He asked and felt bad when Tyler's lip quivered and more tears came to his eyes. 

 

Tyler jumped off the counter and was walking quickly down the hall. Josh followed after Tyler, watching as Tyler was grabbing his things, trying to leave. Josh stood in the doorway, not quite sure if he was supposed to ask differently than he did. Tyler tried pushing at his chest, even went as far as to smack Josh in the chest. It was weak though, Tyler losing the will to actually hit anything. 

 

“Get out of the way. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. You're just gonna make fun of me and call me dumb like he did. I knew you were a mistake,” Tyler said, cheeks wet and words stinging. Josh didn't want to be categorized with someone who sounded downright awful. It only took a few more seconds before Tyler's knees buckled and he fell into Josh's chest, sobs loud. Josh held him, hand rubbing against Tyler's back gently. He didn't like seeing Tyler sob and he didn't like it even more when he knew it was his own fault. He guided them towards the bed so they could sit, so he could pull Tyler to his lap. 

 

“Come on, I didn't mean it badly. Look, I've never even had a friend that was transgender, okay? I really don't understand what it is at all. I'm not making fun of you, I'm just trying to understand,” he said softly and it seemed to break something inside Tyler. His sobs got louder but he clung to Josh's shirt instead of pushing away. 

 

Tyler stopped crying after a while, wiping at his eyes and nose. 

 

“You mean what you said? About not making fun of me?” Tyler asked. Josh hated how broken Tyler sounded over it all. 

 

“Of course,” Josh said, not even needing to think about his answer. 

 

Tyler took awhile to gather his thoughts and calm down. He moved off Josh's lap, sitting cross legged on the bed, enough space between them that they could both breathe easier. Tyler wouldn't make eye contact and Josh didn't try and force it. 

 

“It's real,” he said softly and Josh figured it was the answer to his question in the kitchen. Josh nodded and waited some more. 

 

“I don't want it. I don't like hearing about it, I don't like looking at it, I don't like touching it,” he said, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. Tyler didn't elaborate further but it seemed to click in Josh's head anyway. 

 

“Wait, shit. So, you're a girl then?” He asked. Tyler looked up at him, eyes wide and far too vulnerable. Tyler swallowed before nodding. 

 

“Do you-” Josh looked away, wanting to make sure his questions didn't come out offensive. “Don't get mad or anything, I'm trying to understand. Do you want me to like, call you a girl and stuff?” Josh asked and he looked back to see another round of tears in Tyler's eyes. Tyler nodded though, hands back to the skirt, bunching it up before smoothing it out. 

 

_ Her. _

 

“Is that why you got upset when I said that thing about kinks when I saw your underwear?” Josh asked and Tyler nodded again, not trusting her voice enough to speak. Josh felt bad even if it wasn't his fault that he didn't understand. 

 

“And you didn't want me complimenting your skirts?” Josh asked, watching as Tyler shrugged. 

 

“The other guys that wanted to take me home were into the skirt. They thought it was a kink, too. You didn't ask the first night and I didn't want it to end up that you thought that too,” she said quietly and Josh smiled gently. 

 

“No, I thought you looked pretty in them,” he said honestly and Tyler smiled. Josh thought it was the first time he'd seen that on her face. 

 

They sat together for a long time, neither knowing what else to say. 

 

“Can I take you on a date?” Josh asked finally. As much as he didn't mind having Tyler over for a night, he wanted more. He was greedy and wanted as much of Tyler as he could possibly get. She nodded her head, climbing off the bed and gathering up her things again. 

 

“I'm gonna go but yes, I'd like to go on a date I think,” she said before hurrying out of Josh's place before he could stop her again. 

 

He could hardly be mad that Tyler hadn't stayed for breakfast. He understood how personal that had been, how much trust she had placed in Josh to be able to admit that. 

 

*

 

Josh sat in the restaurant, looking around to try and find Tyler. He was excited to do more than just have sex, excited to get to know her. 

 

He saw her walking towards him, following behind a hostess. Tyler sat down across from him. She had on a black dress that covered her arms and shoulders. She wore makeup this time, lips shiny and eyes framed by a thin black line. She smiled when she realized Josh was staring. 

 

“Sorry,” he said finally, clearing his throat, “You look really beautiful.”

 

“Can I come over?” Tyler asked when they'd finished eating. They were standing outside, both of them not wanting to say goodnight but not wanting to ask too much. Josh nodded and pulled Tyler along. 

 

It felt natural as Josh pulled Tyler into his bedroom and it felt natural when they climbed into bed together. 

 

“Tell me if I do something wrong,” Josh asked quietly and Tyler nodded. Josh's hands went to the hem of her dress, pulling it up slowly. Her arms raised and she wiggled until it came off. Josh smiled down at her, hands on her hips. 

 

“Touch me,” Tyler said as Josh hooked fingers under the waistband of her underwear. He pulled them off, leaving Tyler naked. Josh pulled off to removed his clothes before he hovered over her. 

 

“Can I try something?” He asked softly. Tyler looked apprehensive but nodded anyway. 

 

Josh leaned down and kissed her, not mind that he got lipstick on his own lips and neither of them minded that it smeared on Tyler's face. Josh touched her gently, fingers stroking her sides, moving to kiss at her neck. He didn't bite or suck at the skin, wanting this to be different, wanted this to be gentle all the way until the end. He thought that Tyler deserved that more than anything. 

 

Josh moved to Tyler's chest, kissing at collarbones. He started to speak then. 

 

“So pretty,” he whispered and listened to Tyler whine. “My babygirl,” he tried and Tyler whined loudly, a hand moving to Josh's hair. Tyler ran her fingers through Josh's hair and Josh pulled back, wanting to make sure it was okay. Tyler was crying again but she smiled. 

 

“You mean that?” She asked, tears falling from the corner of her eyes. Josh nodded before leaning down and kissing at the center of her chest. 

 

He moved down her body slowly, stopping when the fingers tightened in his hair. Josh was right above the belly button, lips still on skin.  

 

“Don't go any lower,” she pleaded and Josh looked up at her. 

 

“Can I kiss your clit?” He asked quietly and watched as the words made her squirm. She looked like she was fighting with herself in her own head. 

 

“Nothing else?” She asked, raising her eyebrows. Her voice was still shaky with tears and anxiety. 

 

He nodded his head before he stopped himself. 

 

“Well, I might suck on your clit,” he said, realizing how it might come across to her, “But like, not the whole thing or anything like that. Just your clit,” he said, hoping it clarified what he meant. Tyler still looked nervous but she nodded. 

 

Josh smiled before leaning down and kissing both of her hips. He held her by her hips, careful as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the tip of her cock, making sure he didn't travel farther down. She gasped, fingers tight in his hair but never asking for Josh to stop. He pressed another kiss to the tip before he looked up at Tyler raising his eyebrows. She nodded her head and tried pulling Josh back down by his hair. 

 

“Yeah, I like it when you kiss my clit,” she said, cheeks going red and the hint of a smile on her lips. Josh wondered if that was a new thought to her. 

 

He leaned down and brushed his tongue over the head, repeating the motion until he felt Tyler shake and whine. 

 

“Can we have sex?” She asked. Josh nodded so fast. 

 

“Can I eat you out first?” He asked and she nodded her head. 

 

“Yes, please.”

 

Josh helped Tyler turn over, not wasting any time as he leaned in and licked over Tyler's hole. He moved until he could start working his tongue in slowly, listening happily to the way Tyler moaned above him. She had her hands fisted in the pillow again, knuckles white. Josh pulled back to work a finger in slowly, guessing that she was trying not to touch herself. 

 

She pressed back on his fingers, arching her back like always, silently begging for more. Josh had her opened enough and he could see her shake slightly and knew that it wasn't from the fingering. 

 

“Hey, roll over. I want you to look at me when I do this,” he said and she did what she was asked. Josh could see her lip quiver and he could see how her hands twitched, wanting to reach up and cover her eyes for when she was sure to start crying. Josh kissed her again before he pulled back, lining himself up. 

 

“Look at me, babygirl,” he whispered and she looked up at him, eyes wide, “Watch me, okay? You gotta remember that it's just me,” he said and she nodded, continued to nod as Josh pushed in slowly. She put her hands on his cheeks when he paused, only the tip inside of her. She hadn't cried yet and Josh smiled. 

 

“Keep going, please,” she whispered, taking a deep breath, “Keep talking.”

 

Josh nodded his head, pressing in slowly and face in her neck.

 

“You’re so good for me, Tyler, such a good girl,” Josh whispered, the words feeling foreign on his tongue but necessary all the same. Tyler didn’t cry this time, she moaned as Josh moved, arched into him. She kissed at whatever she could find of Josh’s, lips and neck. When Josh’s lips weren’t busy he repeated how good of a girl she was being, whispered that she was his, that he wanted more of her than she could possibly give. Josh wasn’t sure when she had become his but he decided that he liked that a lot. 

 

“Want my babygirl to orgasm,” he whispered and she froze for a moment.

 

“Josh, I don’t know that I can,” she said and Josh tried understand as much as he could. He knew why she didn’t like being touched, knew that she was somewhat okay with it if he called it a clit. He wanted to try. 

 

“Let me rub your clit, okay? You can tell me to stop if you don’t like it,” he said, moving his hand down her side. She nodded hesitantly, grabbing his wrist when his fingers touched more than just the head of her cock.

 

“Josh, don’t, I don’t like that,” she said, her voice a whine. Josh kissed her, pulling his hand back to her hip. 

 

“Babygirl,” he said softly and she sighed at the name, “It’ll just make it easier, to keep my hand stable,” he explained and she frowned but nodded, hand still a death grip on Josh’s wrist. 

 

“You won’t move your hand?” She asked for clarification and Josh nodded.

 

“Just my thumb on your clit,” he said and she released his wrist. 

 

He kept his fingers loose where they touched her cock, thumb brushing over the tip and listening as she moaned. 

 

“Please go faster, I wanna,” she said, not finishing the rest of her sentence. Josh pushed in faster, chasing after his own orgasm. He was determined to make Tyler feel just as good, to make sure that she was able to come this time. 

 

“I’m close,” she said, hands grabbing at Josh’s shoulders, hair, anything she could reach. Josh felt proud and happy, wanting Tyler to feel just as good as he did.

 

Josh watched as Tyler arched her back, coming over Josh’s hand and her stomach and chest. Josh followed right behind her, hips stilling as she tightened around him, milking his own orgasm from him. He pulled out of her, anxious now that after everything was done, it was still okay. He grabbed gently at her cheeks, waiting until her eyes opened again.

 

“Was that okay? Did you like that?” Josh asked and felt pride in his chest when Tyler nodded. 

 

“I liked that a lot,” she said, curling into Josh, holding him close. Josh smiled as he held her.

 

He woke up with Tyler still in his arms, woke up to kisses and a lapful of Tyler. Josh groaned, shoving at Tyler’s face gently. 

 

“Can we go again?” She whined, pressing her lips to Josh’s neck instead. Josh groaned even louder. 

 

“We just had sex,” he said like that was a reason to not go again. He couldn’t deny that the offer wasn’t attractive. He had a beautiful girl on his lap, asking for sex. The idea had him already starting to get hard. 

 

She whined again and shifted, pressing her hips down against Josh’s. He didn’t have to look down to tell that she was already hard. 

 

“Yes but I haven’t had an orgasm in a long time. You made me feel really good and I want to do that again,” she explained and Josh didn’t have the heart to deny her that or even deny himself that opportunity. 

 

“Okay, fine,” he said, hating how his heart fluttered when she smiled at him or when she leaned down to kiss him. 

 

“There’s lube in my bedside table,” he said quietly and she moved to grab it, pressing it into Josh’s hands. 

 

“I haven’t done it before, do it for me. I don’t like doing it myself,” she said, a pout on her lips as she stared at Josh. He nodded his head, uncapping the lube and squirting some onto his fingers. 

 

“What, you gonna ride me?” He asked, raising his eyebrows and not expecting for Tyler to nod. 

 

Tyler kissed him as he reached to work a finger into Tyler slowly, listening as she whined into his mouth, as she rocked back to meet Josh’s hands. 

 

“Do you want me to talk to you when you do this like last night?” He asked, biting his lip to keep from moaning when she grabbed for his cock, spreading lube over it. Tyler shook her head, letting out a quiet breath. 

 

“No, no, this is fine. He never let me be in control,” she said, frowning at the thought of her ex. Josh felt bad for bringing it up but he wanted to make sure Tyler would be okay, he didn’t want to see her cry anymore. 

 

“This is new,” she said as she leaned up on her knees, looking down at Josh. He could tell she was still nervous but he could also tell how determined she was. He let her have the control, resting his hands on her thighs and breathed as she sat back on Josh’s cock, as she moved slowly. She didn’t cry, she moaned instead. She breathed out about how good it felt. She thanked Josh even though he knew that her thanks were unnecessary. 

 

She leaned down to kiss Josh again, not minding when Josh got impatient and thrusted up into her, not minding when Josh grabbed at her hips to help her along. She whined into his mouth as precome dripped from her cock, landing on Josh’s stomach. He pulled back and looked down between them before he looked back up at her. He could tell that she was about to apologize. 

 

“My babygirl is so wet for me,” he said and it looked like her words got stuck in her throat. She rocked back instead of speaking, eyes falling closed. A moan left her lips and she opened her eyes, grabbing for Josh’s hand and pulling it off her hips, trying to get him to touch her again. 

 

“I wanna feel that again,” she said softly and Josh nodded but didn’t touch her still. 

 

“Can you touch yourself for me?” He asked and her eyes went wide. 

 

“Josh, I don’t think I can, I don’t-” she started, stopping when Josh reached up and grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her down for a kiss. She went easily, hands resting on Josh’s chest. Without Josh’s hands on her hips to help move her, the pace slowed. It was little movements as they kissed, holding each other and enjoying the intimacy before Tyler pulled back again. “I don’t know that I can.”

 

Josh put his hands on Tyler’s hips again, moving with her until she was moaning, her cock leaking more onto his stomach.

 

“Try,” he whispered, grabbing her hand and guiding it for her. He stopped when her muscles tensed. “Just your clit, babygirl,” he said, looking up at her as she whimpered. 

 

She brushed her fingertip over the head of her cock and Josh watched it twitch. She moaned, repeating the motion before she nodded her head.

 

“Okay, okay,” she said, looking down at herself. She mimicked Josh’s touch from the night before, wrapping her fingers loosely around her cock, thumb brushing at the tip. 

 

“You’re doing so good for me, babygirl. You look so beautiful,” he said, smiling as he watched her moan and nod quickly. “Such a good girl,” he said, grabbing for her hips again as he helped guide her. 

 

“I am a good girl,” she said, tears leaking from her closed eyes. Josh closed his eyes as he finished inside of her, watching as she took control for a moment, slowing down as she came over her own hand, leaving come on Josh’s chest. 

 

She sat there for a moment with tears on her cheeks. Josh reached up to wipe her tears away. 

 

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly, disappointed in himself that she was crying again. He’d wanted it to be better for her. She shook her head and smiled, opening her eyes to look down at Josh. Her eyes didn’t seem sad. 

 

“I’m happy,” Tyler said softly, bringing her hands to Josh’s cheeks, “I’m sorry I’m such a baby and cried again but I’m happy.” Josh smiled, too.

 

“No, that’s okay. As long as they’re happy tears,” he said and she nodded. 

 

They napped before breakfast and then had a lazy day in bed. Tyler pulled her underwear back on, mumbling about how she didn’t like being naked too much. Josh understood as best as he could, not complaining when she curled up next to him. Her underwear was almost as soft as he skin and he figured that it was more than he would have ever asked for. 

 

*

 

Tyler came over every weekend, complaining about her work and the coworkers who didn’t understand, who didn’t accept her. Josh wished that he could be more help when he pulled her into a hug and let her cry on his shoulder.

 

“Fuck them,” was all he could say and he knew it didn’t solve any of her problems. It didn’t make the people start respecting what she asked of them. It also didn’t make her tears go away and that’s what hurt Josh the most. 

 

“Come on, Tyler. I know it hurts but you gotta remember that that doesn’t take anything away from you. Even if they’re gonna be shitty people and disrespect you, that doesn’t make you any less of a woman,” he said and the words made Tyler cry more but Josh saw that she loosened up and she nodded her head. 

 

“Come on, babygirl,” he said, pulling her in close and she went easily, smiling as she laid against Josh's chest. 

 

“How about we go to the store?” He said and she nodded, moving off of Josh so he could get up. 

 

Tyler had thought that store meant groceries and she was fine with that. A distraction was what she needed. Josh had other plans, though. 

 

Tyler had shown up in loose fitting jeans and a baggy t-shirt and it was obvious that she wasn't feeling like herself. She was nervous, upset from what her coworkers said about her. Josh took her to the mall. 

 

She sat in the car, staring at the building apprehensively. 

 

“Why're we here, Josh?” She asked, not sure what Josh was planning. 

 

“I just wanted to cheer you up. Is this okay? I'll buy you some stuff if you'd like,” he said and she smiled, leaning across the console to kiss Josh's cheek. She was out of the car so fast, practically tackling Josh to the ground when he got out of the car. 

 

“Thank you,” she whispered, taking Josh's hand as they walked through the mall. 

 

She picked things from a few stores, trying them on and asking Josh for his opinion each time. 

 

“Does it make me look girlier?” She asked, the words of her coworkers still forefront in her mind. Josh smiled and nodded. 

 

“I like that one, it brings out your curves,” he said and the blush on her cheeks was worth it. Josh sat on a bench while he waited for her, smiling when she was done, the clothes in her arms. 

 

He paid and held her hand while they walked through the mall. She thanked him, mumbling about how good he was, compliments spilling from her lips. Any other time Josh would have returned the compliments tenfold but he knew that Tyler needed to get it out, that this was about Tyler feeling good. He'd settle for holding her hand and then drown her in compliments tonight when they lay together, naked and entangled until the sun woke them up. 

 

They walked by Victoria’s Secret and Tyler's eyes went to the storefront repeatedly. Josh squeezed her hand, staring at her face. 

 

“Want something from there?” He asked and Tyler froze, looking down at the floor. 

 

“You sure? Isn't it weird for you?” She asked and Josh shrugged. 

 

“Why would it be? Isn't that a store that girls usually like?” He asked right before being dragged into the store. Josh noticed the way Tyler’s eyes lit up when he didn’t hesitate to call her a girl, that he didn’t seem phased by Tyler’s interest in an underwear store. 

 

Josh looked at the prices as they walked by display stands and he sighed. 

 

“What about that like, three for thirty-five?” he said and Tyler froze, turning back to Josh.

 

“You mean that?” She asked and Josh nodded.

 

The way Tyler smiled ended up being worth how expensive it was. They stood in front of a display stand, digging through drawers to find something Tyler liked. He’d hold it up for Josh and ask his opinion, too. 

 

“I think that one would look nice on you,” Josh would say but then again, he said that about everything Tyler had shown him.

 

Tyler ended up finding a few things that she liked, balling them up in her fist like she was ashamed to be seen with them. Josh didn’t like that but he didn’t say anything. They walked to the counter and Tyler set her things down, smiling at the lady behind the counter. The smile wasn’t returned. Instead, she stared at the two of them, eyes lingering on Tyler longer than on Josh. 

 

“Is this for your girlfriend?” She asked, eyes stuck on Tyler. 

 

Tyler opened and closed her mouth for a second, the pain obvious in her eyes. Josh hadn’t seen anyone treat her this way in person before and it shocked him into silence. 

 

“No,” she said finally, voice sounding as broken as she looked. Her eyes turned down and she stared at the underwear on the counter that hadn’t even been rung up. 

 

“This store is for girls, not your weird kink,” she said, leaning around them and waving to the next customer. Josh was shocked, hardly even able to think about Tyler right next to him, eyes filling with tears. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Josh said finally, his mind catching up to the situation, “My girlfriend would really like for someone else to ring us up,” Josh said without thinking, his arm wrapping protectively around Tyler and pulling her close. Tyler and the cashier were both shocked, staring at Josh. 

 

The girl stood there, looking between the two of them, finally realizing how rude she had been towards a customer. 

 

She didn’t even apologize as she scurried away, a different girl walking up and smiling as she scanned the underwear and then wrapped it up for Tyler. 

 

“I gave you the employee discount. I know it doesn’t make up for what she said but I hope that it’ll be a little bit,” she said, placing the things in a non-discreet bag. It was obvious Tyler was still upset. Josh had intended  for their shopping trip to cheer her up, not make it worse. “That red pair, really cute. One of my favorites that I’ve bought from here. You have good taste,” the worker said, handing the bag to Tyler and smiling politely. Tyler offered up a small smile as she took the bag from the cashier.

 

Tyler waited until they were in the car, bags on her lap and hugging them to her chest. 

 

“You called me your girlfriend,” she said quietly, staring at the floor of Josh’s car instead of at him. He couldn’t tell if her body position meant that she was happy about it or not. 

 

“Sorry, I was just pissed off and not thinking. I said the first thing that came to mind,” he explained, not apologizing for calling her his girlfriend. She sat there for a long time, looking out the window and avoiding Josh. She was thinking, it was obvious, Josh just didn’t know what about. 

 

“Do you want me to be your girlfriend?” Tyler asked and Josh hated himself for hesitating. He wanted Tyler to be his girlfriend, had since the second time they’d had sex. He wanted to tell her she was beautiful when they woke up next to each other and he wanted to shower her in praise, wanted to be the one to hold her if some asshole coworker wouldn’t give her enough respect to use the proper pronouns. 

 

“I do, but-” Josh started, getting cut off.

  
“But you’re gay, right? It’s fine. Just drop me off and I’ll take the bus home,” she said, hugging the bags tighter to her chest like Josh might try and take them from her. It surprised Josh for a second. 

 

“No, I don’t think I’m gay,” he said, trying to think back to other people he’s liked. He had only dated guys before but that didn’t stop him from finding girls attractive in the past. He liked Tyler and he knew that Tyler was a girl and he still liked Tyler.

 

“But you thought I was a guy when you first talked to me,” Tyler said, the disappointment in his voice evident. It hurt Josh more than he cared to admit.

 

“You’re right. I thought you were a guy that didn’t care about gender stereotypes or that maybe you had a kink for crossdressing,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. Tyler waited quietly, staring at Josh’s hands rather than his face. “But you told me that you weren’t a guy, that you were a girl. So, instead of asking you to be my boyfriend, I want you to be my girlfriend. I don’t have a problem with you being transgender, that doesn’t change anything,” he said, feeling like how he worded it was rude or offensive but Tyler didn’t seem offended. 

 

“You really want me to be your girlfriend?” She asked finally and this time, Josh didn’t hesitate. 

  
“I would really like it if you were my girlfriend.” Tyler blushed, hiding her face behind her hands.

 

She was quiet for the rest of the drive, not asking to be dropped off to go home again. 

 

“We can cuddle,” Josh offered when they parked. Tyler nodded as they walked to Josh’s door. 

 

Josh ended up lounging on his bed. He’d stripped to his boxers, intending on cuddling. Tyler pulled the clothes from her bags instead, holding them to her body and looking down at them. She got to the Victoria’s Secret bag and pulled out a black pair of underwear, looking between them and Josh for a second. 

  
“Want me to model them for you?” She asked and Josh raised his eyebrows. 

 

“You want my honest opinion?” He asked back and she seemed to deflate a little. He felt bad when she nodded, her posture seemed upset again. “If you’re gonna do that you might as well just not put them on. They’re gonna come off,” he explained and her cheeks went red. She threw the underwear at him, not having enough weight to even hurt him.

 

“Josh,” she whined but crawled on the bed. She put herself in his lap, hands going to Josh’s chest. “You don’t even want me right now, I didn’t get dressed up,” she said and Josh looked down at what she was wearing. It was lazy day clothes that he thought might have been Tyler’s before she came out. 

 

“So?” He asked, not missing the blush, “I still want you.” 

 

Tyler kissed him then, pressing close and smiling into the kiss. She whispered thank you’s into Josh’s mouth and lifted her arms when Josh tugged at her shirt. 

 

“Can I ride you again?” She asked, voice quiet. Josh pulled back and gave her a questioning look. She shrugged her shoulders, nervous to even be asking. “I just, I liked that better. It doesn’t remind me of him,” she said and Josh nodded. 

 

They kissed until they couldn’t breathe, Tyler’s hands everywhere and Josh’s stuck firmly to her hips. They pulled at each others underwear and Josh wanted to touch so badly. He kept his hands where they were, wanting Tyler to feel good, to feel safe with him.

 

Josh let Tyler take control, let her take things at her own pace. She wanted it slow when she begged Josh to open her up, slow as she sunk down on Josh. She took her time, leaning in to kiss Josh, to just rock slowly. They held each other tight, whispering back and forth. 

 

“I don't like touching myself,” she said finally, her whispers dying and being replaced with moans. He nodded as he reached out to touch her hip. 

 

“Want me to touch you?” Tyler nodded her head, sitting up so she could lean back, needing more of Josh inside her. 

 

Josh was slow as he moved his hand, being sure his fingers touched Tyler as little as possible. He teased the tip of her cock. She rocked into the touch, needing more than she was getting. 

 

They moved together until Tyler was on her back, legs wrapped around Josh. She whimpered into his mouth, holding tight to his hair and his shoulder, needing something to grab onto. He touched her clit, brushing his thumb over it gently, listening to the way she moaned. He was careful with her, wanting her to feel good but he didn’t want to upset her. He hated to see the way she panicked at even the thought of being touched more than just the tip. He wanted her to feel good.

 

“Is this okay?” He asked and she nodded her head, holding tight to him. 

 

“I trust you,” she said and there seemed to be more she wanted to say but she left it at that. Josh didn’t ask again, let her moan into his neck when he leaned down to hold her close and he let her shake in his arms as she came over his hand and on her stomach. 

 

Josh cleaned her up, gentle where he touched her, wanting to keep her happy. She smiled and begged him to lay down with her. He could hardly say no when her eyes were half closed and her arms were outstretched. 

 

“You don’t want to put some clothes on before we lay down?” He asked, noticing she was still naked. 

 

“Why would I?” She asked, not looking down at herself. She dropped her hands to her sides. Josh shrugged.

 

“You said one time that you felt more comfortable if you had on your underwear,” he explained and her mouth formed an ‘O’ shape. She shrugged, looking down at herself. 

 

“You don’t make me feel like I’m in the wrong body,” she said, closing her eyes, “You talk to me like I’ve been a girl since birth and I don’t feel like I have to hide from you,” she said and Josh smiled. He thought that that might have been the best compliment he could ever receive. 

 

“Good, because once I lay down, I’m not gonna let you get up until I’m satisfied with the amount of cuddling,” he said and she blushed. 

 

Josh curled up next to her, being mindful that their hips didn’t touch more than necessary. He kissed her slowly until she was pushing at his face, demanding air to breathe. Josh pouted while she caught her breath. 

 

They fell asleep and woke up. Tyler touched Josh, circling her finger over the tip of his cock and then wrapping her fingers around Josh. She stroked him quickly, smiling when he whispered about how good she was. 

 

“My girl,” he whispered right before he came. She smiled and kissed him, not even caring when Josh fell asleep again. 

 

Josh woke up a second time to find come on Tyler’s chest and Tyler staring at the ceiling. She didn’t move when he leaned up, didn’t smile when he kissed her cheek. She felt tense underneath him, her eyes giving away that something was going on in her head. He would have asked but she spoke first. 

 

“He didn’t accept me,” she said finally, looking over to Josh. She looked on the verge of crying but determined nonetheless.

  
“Your ex?” Josh asked, just so he could understand a little better. She nodded her head and he saw a tear slip over her cheek. Josh shifted so he was on his back, pulling Tyler with him, holding her against his chest. 

 

“When we started dating, I didn’t know, hadn’t come out. I just thought that I was really feminine,” she said, tracing patterns over Josh’s chest while she took in a shaky breath. “When I told him, he said I was a liar. He told me he’d never love me because he was gay. He said he dated a boy and that he liked boys. He said that I always came so fast when my dick was in his mouth,” Tyler explained and Josh wished he could have been there to hit her ex. 

 

“That’s not fair to you,” he said, frowning at the thought of what it must of been like. He was sure he could never even imagine what Tyler must have felt. 

 

“He told me that he would never call me a girl and that he would never treat me like one. I was his boyfriend and he would leave me if I wanted to be his girlfriend,” she said and that was when she really started to cry. 

 

“Tyler, I want you to be my girlfriend,” he said, knowing that he’d already asked her but he didn’t care. “I want you to be happy and if you are happier when I call you my babygirl or girlfriend or any of those things, I’ll do it.” Tyler cried harder as she clung to Josh. 

 

“I really want to be your girlfriend,” she said and Josh let her cry until it was just hiccups and sniffles. He kissed Tyler then, cupping her cheeks and holding her close. He touched her sides and ran his fingers through her hair.

 

“Then you can be my girlfriend.” 

 

*

 

Tyler was on Josh’s lap, both of them trying to ignore how hard Josh was beneath her. She’d shift to get more comfortable and Josh’s face would go red.

 

“Please, come on, Tyler, stop moving,” he whispered, only to hear her giggle in response and do it again. 

 

“I’m not doing anything, Josh,” she whispered back. Josh groaned and thumped his head against the back of the couch. She was deliberate in how she moved and it only made Josh want to scream more. 

 

“You’re a damn liar,” he said and instead of denying it she just smiled. 

 

They were quiet for a long time and Josh tried really hard to focus on the movie that he’d put on. It was supposed to be a date night for them, a good time. Tyler had asked to stay in because she didn’t feel comfortable with herself as much as she usually did. She just wanted to be comfy in his home. 

 

“I know we agreed not to but just suck me off real quick?” He asked, a small moan getting caught in his throat. He felt Tyler freeze underneath her hands and he winced, needing to know what he said that set her off. He didn’t mean to. 

 

“No,” she said, voice weaker than it usually was. He frowned and squeezed her hips.

 

“Hey, what is it? I didn’t mean to upset you,” he asked quietly and Tyler sighed. She leaned back against Josh’s chest, trying to keep her hips still as she did. 

 

“I don’t like doing that. It reminds me too much of myself and of him,” she whispered and Josh remembered what she had said about how he used to talk to her. He nodded his head and kissed the back of her neck, sighing into her skin.

 

“I’m sorry, babygirl, I didn’t mean to,” he said and it meant everything to him with the way she relaxed against him again, “You don’t have to do anything just please, for the love of God, stop wiggling,” he said and there was a small laugh. She turned around so she could look at Josh, so she could smile at him. She didn’t hesitate as she reached for his pants, as she unbuttoned them. Josh didn’t try and stop her. 

 

“Only if you want to,” he said and she looked up at him, hand worked down to cup him through his boxers. She was a little surprised that he’d try and stop her, let her know it was okay when they were this far along.

 

“I want to,” she clarified and that was enough to shut Josh up. 

 

She was slow and the movie was already half over by the time Josh finished but he hardly cared. He had Tyler’s lips on his and her hands on him and he couldn’t have found something better than that. She kissed him even when he arched his back and came, his mouth was open and he couldn’t even think about kissing back but she didn’t care. She was gentle as she touched him and gentle as she tucked him away again.

 

“Do you need anything?” Josh asked, flitting his hand over her leggings quickly. She wasn’t hard and she didn’t flinch when he touched her. 

 

“No, I just felt bad for teasing you,” she said and Josh thought that was good enough. 

 

“You ruined the movie,” he joked and that made her pout. She felt bad enough in the end that she rewinded the movie to where they were last so Josh didn’t miss a single part of it.

 

*

 

It was the next weekend when Tyler laid down face first on the bed and mumbled that she didn’t want to have sex. Josh shrugged and nodded, sitting down next to her. 

 

“Something bothering you?” He asked and she sat up, moving so she could lean into his side.

 

“No, I just want to cuddle instead,” she admitted and Josh moved so they could curl up with pillows and under blankets. Tyler followed after him, curling up against his side.

 

Tyler was silent for such a long time that Josh assumed she was asleep. He wasn’t sure why but he tried talking anyway.

 

“Have you ever thought about changing your name?” He asked and found out that Tyler wasn’t asleep when she tensed. 

 

“No, why?” She asked and Josh felt a little dumb now that he was asking.

 

“I don’t know, I was just curious. Tyler isn’t a name that most girls have, I was just wondering if you wanted something more feminine,” he said and Tyler pulled away, sitting up.

 

“It’s my name, why do I have to change?” She asked and Josh had no way to respond. He felt like he’d offended her, like that was a question he shouldn’t have even thought. He wanted to apologize but nothing came out. 

 

They were quiet for a long time and Tyler still hadn’t laid down. 

 

“I’m just trying to understand,” he said, frowning because he felt like he’d offended Tyler. She’d come over with the intentions of cuddling until their stomachs hurt from being empty but it seemed like she didn’t even want to touch Josh anymore.

 

“Understand what?” She finally said, chewing on a fingernail. 

 

“You,” he said and it earned him a glare, “Look, Tyler, I’ve never been with anyone that was transgender, I have no idea what to even say or do when it comes to you. I want you to be comfortable and happy but I can’t do that if I don’t understand. I want to help you and make sure you get what you need to feel good about yourself,” he said, a little frustrated that she got defensive. He took a deep breath to calm down, though. He wouldn’t yell at her over something like this. 

 

Tyler let out a sigh and dropped her hand from her mouth. She looked at the blankets where they covered Josh’s knees. 

 

“Fine, what do you want to know?” She asked and Josh was relieved. 

 

“What would you do?” He asked, feeling like he should pull his phone out and google it all. He also felt like he’d rather hear it directly from Tyler.

  
“Transitioning?” She asked and Josh noddd. “I don’t know. There’s a lot of things I can do but I’m not sure that I want to,” she said and Josh frowned as he looked down. 

 

“So you’re just gonna stay like that?” He asked and Tyler nodded again. 

 

“I don’t know, I’ve been trying to grow my hair out but I get annoyed when it starts touching my ears and I want to start hormones but my family wouldn’t accept me, they’d flip,” she said and Josh hated the look on her face. 

 

“What if I introduced you to my family? What if they called you Tyler and called you my girlfriend?” He asked and Tyler seemed a little apprehensive, nervous. She didn’t say anything for a long time and Josh assumed she didn’t know what to make of it. 

 

“Would your family really?” She asked finally and Josh wasn’t completely sure. They had been accepting of him when he told them he was gay, they still loved him and supported him. Josh wasn’t sure why Tyler would be any different. 

 

“Sure, they won't get much of a choice. I’ll tell them that I’m bringing my girlfriend and I’ll tell them your name is Tyler. You can wear that black dress again because I think it made your curves look awesome,” he said and the way Tyler blushed and hid her face was worth it. She stayed there for a while, not pulling away when Josh sat up and kissed the back of her hands or when he pulled her into his chest. 

 

“You like my curves?” Tyler asked and Josh nodded. He still hadn’t told Tyler that she didn’t have curves, that the only curve he’d seen was when she arched her back with her ass in the air. Instead, he ran his palms along Tyler’s side, squeezing her hips when he got to them before he moved back up to Tyler’s shoulders.

 

“I love your hips,” he said and she pushed forward, kissing Josh and knocking them over. She kissed Josh until they were out of breath and laughing. 

 

“Tyler, you don’t have to get any surgeries or do hormones or anything,” he said and she paused again, looking away. “If you’re comfortable how you are now and you don’t feel the need to change then that’s fine. You’ll be my girlfriend no matter what,” he said and Tyler looked almost like tears were forming in her eyes. 

 

“I think I want to try hormones,” she said and Josh smiled at her. 

 

*

 

Tyler refused to see Josh’s family until she had started her hormones. She said that she didn’t feel like a girl until she was able to. 

 

“What about Christmas, though?” Josh asked, torn between Tyler and his family. He knew that Tyler wouldn’t go home, that she didn’t have anyone to see for the holidays and it upset him. He had begged Tyler to come with him.

 

“Meet my family,” he had said, about ready to drop to his knees and beg with tears in his eyes. Tyler had shrugged and said no, said she wanted to feel more like herself before she met with anyone. Josh understood as best he could, he really did. He knew that it was important to Tyler now, that she wanted to look more as she felt. Her hair was down to her shoulders by then. 

 

“Not until I start my hormones,” she said and whined quietly when Josh looked ready to cry. “Josh, I’ll be fine. Go to your families, you can bring me back some food and we’ll have a midnight dinner,” she said and Josh felt bad. 

 

“Tyler-” 

 

“Better hope I get an appointment.”

 

She ended up getting a couple of appointments that she begged Josh to tag along to. 

 

He had done as much research as he could, even looking at surgery photos with her that made his dick ache. She smiled and explained it and said that she wasn’t sure but she also didn’t hesitate to click on the next one.

 

“Doesn’t it look like it hurts?” She asked, giggling when Josh groaned. 

 

It was a week before Christmas when they sat in a doctors office again. Josh held onto Tyler’s hand tight, rubbing his thumb over her skin. She swung her legs, shoes scuffing the floor and making a god awful squeaking sound. If it was any other day Josh would have asked her to stop, lay on top of her if she wanted to be defiant but he knew she couldn’t control it. 

 

Josh knew what day it was.

 

Tyler was bouncing in her seat, looking around the room anxiously and jumping any time it sounded like the door was opening. Josh was sure she would have a heart attack when the door actually did open. 

 

“Ms. Joseph?” The doctor asked, looking between the two of them. Tyler raised her hand and practically bounced in her seat. She was handed a paper that had too many words for Josh to skim through. “Your prescription went through,” the doctor said. 

 

Josh expected a lot of things in that moment. Maybe screaming, too much excitement packed into one voice that it would come out breathless, no noise but the pure look of excitement. He expected Tyler to yell, maybe, jump up and hug the doctor, tackle her to the floor and kiss her face. Josh expected to get a kiss as well but none of those things happened. 

 

Instead, Josh watched as Tyler sat there, face emotionless before it screwed up. Tyler was in tears, hands covering her face as she hunched forward and sobbed. Josh wanted to hug her, tell her things were okay but he was just as shocked. They waited quietly, none of them sure what they should do when it came to Tyler. 

 

She pulled her hands away eventually, sniffling and wiping at her eyes and cheeks. Josh didn’t know if he should hug her or what. Eventually she spoke.

 

“I didn’t,” she said, looking down at the floor. She swung her feet, struggling to find words if the look on her face was anything to go by. “I didn’t expect this,” she said finally and the doctor took a seat on her rolling chair, moving so she was in front of Tyler. 

 

“But it’s here,” she said softly, smiling at Tyler, “We could fill your prescriptions today and you could walk out of here with them in hand,” she said and Tyler looked as if she couldn’t breathe. Josh thought that maybe he’d feel the same excitement, that maybe he’d be upset. Afterall, he had expected to take home a boy from the bar, a boy with a skirt. He’d never anticipated that the boy in the soft pink skirt that ordered a martini would confide in him so much, would want to be with him. 

 

Josh thought that he’d be sad or maybe happy but he felt neither. 

 

Tyler sat in the car, holding the bag with medications in it close to her chest. She had been watching Josh for a long time.

 

“You aren’t excited?” She asked and the hurt in her voice hurt Josh, too. He shrugged because he wouldn’t lie to her. No, he wasn’t excited and it left guilt in his stomach. 

 

“Josh, how could you? I told you how important this was to me,” she said and Josh sighed because he could hear the tears in her voice. He didn’t have to turn and look to know that they were there, that if he didn’t fix this then she’d be crying. Josh knew that he had to say something but he didn’t know what he should even say. He shrugged again. 

 

She was quiet until they were parked outside of Josh’s home, neither of them getting out of the car. Josh refused to leave the car while Tyler was angry or upset but he was still at a loss for words. 

 

“Can you take me home?” She asked, knuckles white and paper bag crinkling in her grip. 

 

“Tyler,” Josh started but left off. 

 

“You should have said something if you didn’t want me to start, you were encouraging it. I wouldn’t have even thought it was possible if you hadn’t talked me into it,” she said and Josh finally looked over at her. She looked angry then, upset. Josh knew it was his fault.

  
“Tyler, it’s not like that,” he said, shrugging again because he was useless, he had nothing.

 

“So what is it? Are you angry? Upset? I knew you were lying when you said that you didn’t care if I was transgender,” she said, wiping at tears again. Josh looked down at his lap and shrugged.

 

“It’s none of those, okay? I’m sorry I’m not excited but, I don’t know. It just seems, normal?” He tried and Tyler scoffed. “Look, I have no clue, okay? I just figured this was normal, that every transgirl would do this. I’m happy you got what you wanted but I don’t feel like jumping for joy? This is you, I knew that one day you’d get medication or one day you wouldn’t and I knew that. I expected this and it just, I’m glad you’re happy but it feels normal, it just feels like you. Tyler’s sitting next to me and holding her bag of pills and I don’t feel any differently about this than I did yesterday when the bag you were holding had greasy burgers,” he said, working himself up until he felt like crying, too. Tyler sat back in her seat and looked down. She opened the bag and poked inside, moving the bottles around. Josh could hear the pills rattle inside, clicking against the plastic and against each other. 

 

“It doesn’t make you feel weird? You don’t feel gross dating someone who’s not right?” She asked and Josh rolled his eyes.

 

“Definitely not how I’d describe you,” he said and that got Tyler’s attention. “I don’t think you’re not right or messed up, I just think that you needed a little more time until you grew into who you’re supposed to be. Some people go through puberty at like twelve and others, like you, will go through puberty at, how old are you, seventeen? Don’t women liked being mistaken for younger?” He asked and the punch to his arm was well deserved. But so was the kiss to his cheek and it left Josh smiling. 

 

“Great skin care regimen,” she said softly and Josh couldn’t help but laugh. 

 

“Sorry about making you think all that stuff. It’s just that you’re you and this is what you had to do,” he said and Tyler got out of the car before saying anything else. 

 

Josh sat there for a few minutes before he got out. He found Tyler sitting on his counter, pill bottles opened and small white pills in her palm. She had a glass of water in the other and didn’t flinch when Josh touched her shoulder. Her legs fell open for him to stand between. 

 

“Why haven’t you taken them?” He asked and she shrugged. 

 

“I know you said it’s just another part of me but, I don’t know, I wanted you to be here for my first one,” she said, looking up to Josh. He nodded and smiled, nudging her gently.

 

“Well, I’m here,” he said and she smiled before bringing the pills to her mouth and downing them with water. 

 

They stayed like that for a long time until Josh realized she was shaking. He took the water from her and set it down before he took her hands and held them tight.

 

“What is it, babygirl?” He asked and she gave a small hint of a smile.

 

“I don’t feel any different,” she said, sounding almost disappointed. Josh laughed quietly and nodded his head. 

 

“Well, you just took it. The changes don’t happen immediately,” he explained and she nodded because she understood. 

 

“I knew that but I was hoping that I’d take it and feel better, that I’d feel something,” she explained and Josh sighed. 

 

“It doesn’t work like that. Besides, you’re still you, the physical changes won’t change your personality. Overtime other people will notice but you never really will,” he said and she frowned but nodded anyway. 

 

They curled up in bed that night and had sex slowly. They laid back to chest, moving slowly. Josh showered her neck and cheek in kisses, telling her how beautiful she was, how proud he was. Josh was sure that she cried through most of it but he didn’t bring attention to it. He came like that, slow and buried inside of Tyler, holding her close. She touched herself that time, thumbing at the head of her cock as she moved with Josh. 

 

“It feels good,” she whispered, coming right after Josh did. She was shaking when she did, tears still on her cheeks. 

 

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, pulling out so he could put her on her back and kiss her, touch her curves and touch her cheeks. She smiled at the attention.

 

“I told you, you make me feel like a woman,” she said and blushed at her own words, “You always touch my clit and I liked it a lot.”

 

*

 

Josh woke up Christmas morning to find Tyler already awake, fingers playing with his hand. 

 

“Hi, babygirl,” he whispered, sleep clouding his voice. She had agreed to meet his family, living up to her promise that after she’d gotten her prescription she would. Tyler hummed a response, not looking over to meet Josh’s eyes. “Something wrong?” He asked finally and she shrugged.

 

“I was just thinking,” she started, dropping Josh’s hand. He sat up then, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes and wake up. 

 

“Yeah?” He prompted but she stayed silent. 

 

“I’m gonna shower,” she said instead, leaving the bed and leaving Josh confused. He didn’t stop her and he didn’t join her, guessing that she needed space to figure it out. He’d know eventually since she always caved and spilled what was on her mind. Josh knew it was a matter of time before she did it again. They switched places and Josh showered. He came out to find her sitting with the towel under her armpits, barely hiding the way the tip of her cock hung down below it. Josh desperately wanted to get down on his knees and suck her off but he knew she’d never appreciate that. 

 

He sighed and turned to get dressed, Tyler following behind. She’d left some of her clothes at his place since she ended up there more often than not. 

 

She spilled when Josh was halfway into his pants.

 

“I want to have kids,” she said and it shocked Josh enough that he tripped, smacking his face against the edge of his dresser before he could right himself. Tyler watched him, uneasy by his reaction. When he looked at her all he could do for the longest time was breathe and raise his eyebrows until they disappeared into his hairline.

 

“With me?” He asked hesitantly, pulling his pants up and buttoning them. Tyler was still in her underwear, wringing the towel in her hands. She nodded eventually.

 

“Maybe, yeah,” she said, looking down to where she wiggled her toes in the carpet. “I think I might be falling in love with you and if I am, I’d want to have kids with you,” she said, dropping the towel and pulling on a dress that Josh had bought for her. Josh distracted himself by flipping through his closet, trying to find a shirt to wear. 

 

“Oh,” was all he said and it seemed to offend Tyler. 

 

She still came even if she was upset at the outcome of her words, still held Josh’s hand and smiled and loved on him because her feelings hadn’t changed.

 

“Who’s this lovely man?” One of Josh’s uncles had asked and Tyler tensed next to Josh. It didn’t even take any thought for Josh to correct his family.

 

“This is my girlfriend, Tyler,” he said and the looks of confusion didn’t go unnoticed but neither did the way they corrected themselves. 

 

“It’s a very lovely dress,” an aunt said, shaking Tyler’s hand before pulling her into a hug. 

 

“You must be a very amazing lady to have snatched Josh’s heart,” his mother had said, smiling fondly at Tyler, “I can’t remember the last time he’s brought someone home.” She kissed both of Tyler’s cheeks before hurrying off to greet others and to help with dinner. 

 

Tyler was overwhelmed when she asked if they could sit down somewhere. 

 

“They accepted me,” she said, sounding a little in awe, a little like she might cry. Josh wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his chest. 

 

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t they?” He asked, kissing the top of her head. Despite the awkwardness of the afternoon, Tyler still found happiness in Josh’s arms and Josh found happiness in Tyler’s smile. He was unsure about a lot of things but his feelings for Tyler were not one of those things. 

 

“Because I’m me,” she tried, looking down at herself. She touched her flat chest and her hands found her way to her hips. She couldn’t touch herself and it was like any other day when they were half naked and Josh wanted a little more from her. She let her hands fall to her sides as she stared sadly at her lap. Josh looked down, too, and while his family might not be aware, they both were. Underneath the dress and underneath the pretty lace underwear that Josh had gotten for her was a cock and Tyler sometimes forgot with the way Josh treated her. 

 

“Yes, you are you but they don’t know anything about you. They only know what I’ll tell them and it’s none of their business to know what you were born as or identify as. All they need to know is your name and that you make me happy,” he said and it earned him a small smile. Tyler leaned into him and nodded, clinging to Josh’s shirt. He didn’t mind that the material was wrinkled when she finally let go. 

 

“Thank you, Josh,” she whispered after a long time. 

 

Family left them alone for a long time but it was Josh’s own mother who broke them apart.

  
“Josh, could I talk to you for a minute?” She asked, smiling at Tyler when they both looked. Josh disentangled himself from her and kissed the top of her head. 

 

“I’ll be right back, it’s okay,” he said and she nodded. 

 

He followed his mother outside and to the backyard. It was cold out but that didn’t stop his mother from sitting down on one of the couches that had been set out. She patted the spot next to her and Josh sat down. He caved into his mother's embrace like he always did. Josh wanted to still be fifteen and groan and push her away because ‘that’s gross’ but truth be told, he missed sitting with his mother and drinking hot chocolate. It almost felt like that again.

 

“How long have you been together?” She asked, sounding curious but Josh knew there was something lying under her words. 

 

“A couple months, why?”

 

“And you like her?” 

 

“A lot, yeah, why are you asking?” Josh said, a little annoyed about her dodging questions. She let out a sigh, folding her hands in her lap.

 

“Do you guys ever fight?” She asked, her voice sounding a little stronger, a little more concerned. Josh frowned and tried to think.

 

“I mean, yeah. We’ve had a few arguments over some stupid stuff,” he said, remembering a few times when he’d worded things wrong and made Tyler uncomfortable about herself and she’d told him off for a good ten minutes. 

 

“Josh, has she hit you?” His mother asked, looking at Josh with an unreadable expression. Josh pulled back and her arm dropped from around his shoulders.

 

“What?” He asked and she pursed her lips. 

 

“Josh, don’t lie to me. We can help you get out of there. I know she hit you and it looks like it was today,” his mother said and Josh turned to look inside the house where Tyler was talking with some of his other family. His mother got his attention when she touched his cheek, touched the forming bruise that was turning green, touched the scab from where he’d split his face open on his dresser. He yanked back from her, from pain and from shock.    
  
“What?” Was all he said again because he was so shocked. His mother was talking, cooing over him and telling him it was okay.

 

“My baby, we can help, we can,” she said, touching his shoulders and his chest. 

 

“No, mom, she didn’t hit me. I tripped,” he said and knew that it wasn’t an excuse, that it was what everyone said when they were being domestically abused but he could swear on anyone’s grave that it hadn’t gone down that way.

 

“Sweetie,” she started and Josh shook his head, scooting away. 

 

“No, stop. We were talking and I had one foot in my pants and she- she said she wanted to have kids and she said she’d want to have them with me. I tripped and fell on my dresser,” he said and his mother looked surprised. It wasn’t the ‘I tripped into a door’ or some other weak excuse and he hoped she believed him. She pulled back, nodding her head. 

 

“You’d tell me if she did hit you?” His mother asked and Josh nodded. 

 

“Only if it wasn’t when we were having sex,” he said, ducking out of the hand that was bound to smack the back of his head. 

  
“Joshua!”

 

He laughed as he stood up and held a hand out to her. 

 

“Mom, I swear, she’s great. I’m happy with her I just, it shocked me,” he said and instead of standing up, she pulled Josh back down to sit next to her. 

 

“What did you say?” She asked, sounding a little more excited than concerned. Josh looked down, a blush rising to his cheeks. He shrugged and that time his mother did smack the back of his head. It ruffled his hair and he ducked away.

 

“I didn’t say anything, I didn’t know what to say,” he confessed hurriedly, cupping the back of his head so she couldn’t do it again. He looked over at his mother and they stared at each other for a long time before Josh’s face screwed up and he was crying. She pulled him into a hug easily and he felt like he was a child again, a stubbed toe and hiccups that wouldn’t stop. She rubbed his back just like she did when he was a kid and he hiccuped into her neck and clung to her shirt. 

 

“You don’t have to have an answer for that yet,” she whispered, running a hand through his hair. He couldn’t even be mad that she ran her hand through it the wrong way and his hair was surely standing up by then. 

 

“She was so upset,” Josh finally choked out, more tears coming to his eyes as he remembered how she looked like she caved in on herself. 

 

“What did she say?” His mother asked, voice more soothing than Josh thought possible. He pulled back and wiped at his nose, trying to remember.

 

“She said that she wanted to have kids one day and that she wanted them to be mine,” he started, the words coming back to him. “Oh God, momma, she said she was falling in love with me,” he said, covering his face when he realized he hadn’t said anything. 

 

“Do you want to have kids one day?” She asked softly and Josh tried to pull himself together again. He shrugged but nodded.

 

“I mean, yeah, that would be nice.”

 

“So what’s the problem?” She asked and it took Josh a long time to think through because he didn’t know. He’d created a problem in his head that didn’t matter because they had agreed even if Josh didn’t admit it to himself yet. He shrugged again and looked at his lap.

 

“I guess I’m scared. I didn’t expect to get serious with her when we met and now that I’m here, I want to but it’s scary,” he said and his mother nodded before taking his hands in hers. 

 

“She seems lovely and I’m sorry I accused her of hurting you. But if you’re serious about what you’ve said then talk to her, I want you to be happy and you two together, you looked happy,” she said. 

 

They hugged before they went back inside and Josh knew his face and eyes were red, knew that he was sniffling and everyone stared but he didn’t care. He smiled when Tyler wrapped arms around him and grinned when Tyler kissed his cheek.

 

“You were crying?” She asked and Josh nodded, knowing he could never get away with lying to her. 

 

“We can talk about it when we’re home.”

 

She held him to that. Tyler had been worried since Josh’s mother pulled him away and Tyler had been giving him sideway glances every time he got up to pour himself some more sparkling cider. Tyler hugged Josh’s family as she left, she said ‘thank you’ to everyone and they assumed it was for food but Josh knew it was much bigger than that.

 

She thanked them for a chance and for accepting her completely. They had no idea what the simple words meant but when she got teary eyed and took Josh’s hand, he knew. 

 

Josh’s mother was the last good bye. She pulled Josh into a hug and told him to be strong and to be honest. She pulled back and pinched his cheek, telling him that he’d grown up into a lovely young man and that she couldn’t be prouder. 

 

Then she turned to Tyler who she pulled into a hug and told her to take care of her boy. Tyler promised that she’d do her best and Josh’s mother nodded.

 

“That’s all you can do with that one,” she teased and they all smiled. She got serious after a moment and patted Tyler’s cheek. “Young lady, I hope to see you at the next holiday,” she said, pointing a finger in Tyler’s face and the acceptance and the welcome back made Tyler nod quickly, a few tears finally spilling over.

 

“Of course.”

 

They sat in the car staring at Josh’s place, quiet. 

 

“Thank you for today. It was nice to spend the holidays with, uhm, a family,” she said, looking over at Josh and giving him a tentative smile. Josh had no words so he leaned across the car to kiss her softly. She kissed back and it wasn’t as awkward as she crawled across to sit on his lap. It didn’t feel awkward even when she bumped the steering wheel and the horn went off for a second. 

 

They laughed and shifted the seat back as they went back to kissing. 

 

It didn’t even seem unnatural as Josh grabbed for Tyler’s hips and grinded up into her. She moved with him for a moment, before she pulled back, hand to her mouth. She whimpered quietly, eyes darting around the small space. Josh didn't want to accept how terrified she looked. It wasn’t even a sound Josh liked hearing.

 

“What is it, babygirl?” He asked, holding her still. She shook her head.

 

“Josh, I’m so sorry, I don’t think that I can do this,” she said, shaking her head again. Josh touched at her hips where her dress had rode up and the only thing covering her was her underwear. 

 

“Is it because of this?” He asked, tugging gently at the material of her underwear. She nodded her head, shifting uncomfortably. 

 

“Josh, I’m sorry,” she started and stopped only when Josh kissed her again, demanding her attention for a few moments.

 

“What? You can’t grind your cunt against me?” He asked, shifting under her and getting a small whimper. 

 

“My what?” She asked, hand falling away from her mouth. Josh thought that he’d said the wrong thing.

 

“Cunt, sorry, is that okay?” He asked, nervous that she didn’t like the word. 

 

“No, no, girls have that,” she said, thinking for a second before she nodded again. “Girls have cunts, I like that.”

 

She was the one to lean down and kiss Josh and she was the one who rolled her hips down. 

 

Josh still didn’t comment on the fact that Tyler didn’t have curves or that he could feel Tyler and how hard she was every time she grinded down into Josh. He didn’t comment on the fact that she was rubbing their cocks together, that she was enjoying herself. 

 

“We can go inside,” Josh offered, his pants starting to be constricting and the car limiting what he could do. Tyler whined on top of him, pushing him back against his seat. 

 

“No, Josh, please don’t. I’m so har-” she stopped, eyes going wide and covering her mouth. Josh sighed and leaned in to kiss her neck.

 

“My babygirl is so wet for me, isn’t she? You don’t care that somebody could walk by?” He asked. 

 

“I’m wet, Josh,” she repeated and he smiled. 

 

He let Tyler take control, let her find a pace that worked and it wasn’t hard to get it to where they were both moaning, holding each other tight. She kept whispering about how wet she was. If it was any other person then Josh would have been annoyed, put off, but he knew that Tyler was finding herself slowly, that this made her more confident in her actions. 

 

Josh didn’t touch her cock because he didn’t want her to be upset. He waited until she was shaking on top of him and she was talking about how close she was.

 

“Don’t get your dress wet,” he said, liking how it looked on Tyler and hating to see it stained. 

 

Tyler rolled down into Josh until she came, getting come on Josh’s shirt and down the front of her underwear. She sat there for a moment but then she was moving, grabbing at Josh’s pants.

 

“Want to touch you,” she whispered, movements shaky and Josh wondered how new this was for her too. He helped her unbutton his pants and he helped to work his cock out, smiling when she had hands on him. 

 

“Touch me already,” he said, voice strained. He was just as close as she had been and he decided that now was not the time to wait. She huffed and rolled her eyes before she nodded, jacking him off the best that she could with the odd angle.

 

In the end, it didn’t matter how sloppy it was or awkward because it was Tyler touching him and it was Tyler whispering sweet words. Josh didn’t need to even fuck up into her hands before he was coming, more of it landing on his shirt. 

 

They sat there, panting into each others skin as the come dried and the car cooled down. Tyler shivered first before they were climbing out, the high of the mood wearing off quickly. Tyler frowned as they moved to the door, leaning into Josh when he wrapped an arm around Tyler’s shoulders.

 

“We can go cuddle in bed?” She asked, wanting to forget about the end of the party and the way Josh’s eyes looked red. 

 

“We need to talk,” he said and it was those infamous words that struck panic in Tyler first. She wondered how they could get off to each other in the car and then come inside to this. He had been the one to make her comfortable enough to enjoy it, she didn’t know how it could end this way. 

 

“We can’t do this in bed?” She asked and Josh shook his head.

 

He pulled Tyler to the couch instead and sat her down, he held her hands and she could feel the tension. It tasted like stomach acid and iron and both of them were nervous for nothing at all. 

 

“I talked to my mom,” he said and Tyler knew it was about the unanswered tears. Tyler waited, not knowing what to say so she said nothing at all. 

 

“She thought you hit me,” he said first and Tyler looked confused and offended before she realized how bad Josh’s face actually looked. “I explained what happened, what you said,” he finally got out and Tyler deflated. 

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” she said and Josh waited, staring at nothing for a long time. He waited so long that Tyler fidgeted nervously next to him, hands restless where he still held them. Tyler wanted to move, wanted to hide. Josh understood but now was not the time. 

 

“No, you had every right to say it. I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have answered you or said something but I didn’t and I apologize,” he said and they were both tense, waiting nervously. 

 

“Tyler, I think I am in love with you. I think I fell in love with you a long time ago but I’ve been nervous on what to say and today made me realize a lot of things. I do love you and I want to spend as much time with you as possible and I wouldn’t mind having kids one day,” he explained and Tyler lunged forward, pulling him into a hug. 

 

“Really?” She asked, holding tight to Josh. He nodded and wrapped her up easily in his arms.

 

“Yeah, but I think I want them with you. I think I want to be with you,” he said and he knew Tyler was crying but he didn’t try to pull her away. He let her have this moment because he knew how much it meant to her because it meant just as much to him. 

 

There was silence for so long that Josh was sure Tyler had fallen asleep but she spoke up. 

 

“What do you think about the name Luna?” She asked, sounding drowsy from being half asleep. Josh had been in the same place and he forced his eyes open. 

 

“Why Luna?” He asked and he could feel Tyler shrug, making the blankets fall from their shoulders. Josh shivered and tugged them back up. 

 

“Because Luna was my favorite character from Harry Potter and besides, nobody takes me seriously with the name Tyler,” she said, her voice sounding thick again and Josh was half asleep and worried about Tyler crying. He didn’t like it when she cried. 

 

“Fuck ‘em,” he mumbled but Tyler didn’t seem to like that answer. She shifted and the blankets fell again and Josh knew he would have to talk. He cracked his eyes open to find Tyler staring at him, chewing on her bottom lip. He sighed and sat up so he wouldn’t fall asleep. “Tyler, fuck their opinions of you. I remember when I asked and you told me that you didn’t want to change because Tyler was your name, why does that have to change now?” He asked and she shrugged.

 

“Your family seemed weird about it,” she said and Josh knew it would come up eventually. 

 

“It’s new to them,” he said and Tyler nodded again. “Tyler, if you want to change your name to something more feminine then do it, I will support you. I’ll reintroduce you to my family as my girlfriend named Luna and fuck them if they want to be confused. Don’t change your name because it’s what society wanted from you. This is about what makes you happy and nothing else,” he said, reaching to touch Tyler’s cheeks. 

 

“But what if people make fun of me? What if they tell me I’m not a real girl because I didn’t change my name?” She asked and Josh could tell it was worries that had plagued her for a long time. 

 

“Are you a girl?” He asked and Tyler was so confused by the question.

 

“What? Josh, I already told you this. I told you that I’m a girl months ago,” she said, opening and closing her mouth to continue but stopping when she realized what Josh was getting at. She shut her mouth and Josh couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Yeah, oh. Look, people are going to be ignorant and people aren’t gonna understand. I didn’t when we first met but you need to be patient or need to ignore them. There are going to be assholes who won’t call you what you ask and I’m so sorry that it’ll happen but I’ll do whatever I can to help,” he said. Tyler settled back against the couch and nodded. She pulled at the blankets and curled into Josh.

 

“You don’t care if I kept my name as Tyler?” She asked and Josh shook his head.

 

“Do you want to keep your name as Tyler?”

 

“I think I want my name to be Tyler.”

 

Josh smiled as he rested his cheek against the top of her hair. 

 

“Tyler Luna Joseph,” he joked and it earned him a snort. 

 

“Sounds good,” she said, grabbing at Josh’s shirt. 

 

“Have you thought about those surgeries?” Josh asked and it was the first time that Josh saw her touch more than just the tip of her cock. She rested her palm over the length, the come on the outside of her underwear. She looked down at where she was touching herself. And then she shrugged, she took a second to think, she gave Josh a small smile.

 

“I have. I think that I want to,” she said and Josh nodded. He knew it would be expensive and he was already planning on finding a way to raise money so he could help out, even if it was just a little. 

 

“You think?”

 

“I think I might wait, though. You make me feel better about myself and maybe I don’t feel like throwing up if you touch my,” she paused, looking away from her lap, pulling her hand away. Even a little bit was enough to make Josh proud of her for having the confidence to accept the reality of her situation even for the moment. “My clit,” she finally finished. “I used to not let anyone touch me and I hardly ever orgasmed but you’re kind and you try and make sure I feel like myself,” she explained. Josh stayed quiet.

 

“I think that if I have to wait for my surgeries then that’s okay. I think that I’m okay right now,” she said and it made Josh smile. He knew that she didn’t love her body, that she wanted it to change but this was enough for now, she was happy for now and that was all Josh could ever ask for. 

 

Even just to feel okay was enough because he didn’t want to think about the opposite. He didn’t want to think about what Tyler might have been like a year ago or two. Josh chose not to think about it because he had Tyler with him now, smiling and saying that she was okay, that she felt good around him. 

 

“And boobs?” He asked and Tyler touched his chest, smoothed a hand over her own flat chest. She shook her head.

 

“Unnecessary. Some girls have flat chests,” she said and Josh nodded. “Why, do you want me to have boobs?” She asked, turning to face Josh. He thought for a moment and shrugged.

 

“I don’t personally care. I want whatever makes you happy and if getting boobs makes you feel good then, fine, let’s do it but if not then I really don’t mind,” he said, shrugging his shoulders again. Tyler smiled and nodded as she leaned in to rest her head on Josh’s shoulder. 

 

They fell asleep on the couch and even though they woke up with aching joints, it felt different. They had blankets piled on top of them and pillows on their backs and it was better than if they’d curled up in bed. Josh wasn’t sure why but it was. 

 

They woke up with mouths that tasted gross and soft kisses. Tyler wrinkled her nose.

 

“You taste bad,” she said, laughing when Josh rolled his eyes.

 

“I was gonna be nice and not say anything about your mouth but now,” he teased, grinning. He still couldn’t bring himself to insult her even jokingly. 

 

She got up to make them hot chocolate and sat back down. She was still wearing her dress from last night and it bunched around her waist. She didn’t bother to pull it down, too drowsy and comfortable with Josh to care. Her underwear was showing but Josh just smiled. His own shirt had been untucked and belt loosened. His shirt was wrinkled but he didn’t care so much either. They were back under blankets, legs tangled together as they sipped at the hot chocolate. It burned Josh’s mouth but he kept going, trying to keep up with the way Tyler drank. 

 

“Did you mean what you said last night?” She asked, face blank as she stared at the wall in front of them. Josh looked over to her, resting his mug on his knees.

 

“About wanting kids?” He asked, tapping his finger against the ceramic. She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her lap.

 

“No, the other thing,” she said vaguely and Josh didn’t know what she meant. He frowned and tilted his head and tried to remember what he had said that would even prompt Tyler to question his words. 

 

It clicked finally. It had gone along with talking about kids. 

 

“You’re asking if I meant it when I said I was in-” he stopped, throat closing up as he looked down at his own lap. Tyler nodded next to him and neither of them looked at each other. 

 

“Yes,” Josh said finally, “I did mean it. I talked to my mom about it and honestly? Being with you terrifies me. But I am with you and I’m happy with you and I’m not going to give up just because I’m a little scared,” he said, not blind to the way Tyler let out a deep breath. 

 

“So,” she started, mimicking Josh as she rested the mug on her knee, “You love me?” Josh smiled at the words, liking the way it sounded when it came from her.

 

“Yes, I do love you,” he said and it didn’t feel forced. The words felt right coming from his mouth and he realized he had no regret when he said it. 

 

There had been times when he’d been in a relationship and he realized part way through that it wouldn’t work and as much as he tried not to, he regretted even being with them. He was quickly seeing that he didn’t feel that way about Tyler at all. Through all of the tears and the worries he regretted nothing. 

 

Tyler stayed quiet and she smiled, looking over to Josh. They met eyes and he couldn’t help but smile, too. 

 

“I love you, too.”


End file.
